What a beautiful day we had in West Wales for the eclipse and the equinox! Brilliant sunshine, birds singing and that eerie light of the eclipse passing over the land. It wasn’t total with us of course, but the light was really odd. Quite lovely and the birds never stopped. Although hearing a hooting owl at 9 in the morning was unusual!
The night before I partially abandoned my anti inflammatory diet and gave into temptation. What a mistake that was. Some sugar craving overtook me and I popped into the kitchen and found an old tin of syrup sponge pudding and some custard. Si wanted to share it with me, so we both gave in and polished it off. Wheat and dairy I usually avoid, so this was clearly not a good idea, but ive got a LOT more will power (I don’t buy these iffy foods any more) than won’t power (if someone puts it right there in front of me I find it hard to resist!
During the night I awoke several times from bad dreams, all of which were about anxiety and then at five a.m. I was left wide awake and anxious. I am beginning to learn which foods and drinks do this to me. wheat, dairy and too much wine all stress my body. It’s really that simple, put them in me – get out a stress reaction.
Its my choice whether to do that to myself or not. The next day of course I feel crap due to a bad nights sleep. I was supposed to drive to the Wirral to do some work Saturday and Monday and go and see my Auntie with Alzheimer’s on Sunday. I decided to put the drive off until Saturday morning. I wasn’t due until the afternoon.
So, this morning I woke up at 6.45 and rolled out of bed, made Si tea, packed the car and after a big cuddle in bed with a sleepy hubby I drove off. I arrived just over three hours later at our home in the Wirral to find a messy house, spilled booze, loads of dirty dishes, empty glasses and bottles all over the lounge and four young men in various states of undress. Two of whom are my twins, the others are our lodgers. I made the decision to rest in my peace place and not get stressed, even when I knocked over a glass of booze I hadn’t seen on the floor.
I just cleaned up the spill, asked Josh to make me a cup of tea please, unpacked the car and lay down on the sofa and chilled. After ready brek and a piece of organic seedy spelt bread with organic whole peanut butter to fortify me, I went to work at two. It was facilitating a bunting making session at an allotment, where loads of Apple trees were also being planted and there was a live music and food to share. A lovely event created by Transition Town West Kirby.
I was really too ill for this. The flu has left me hardly able to speak. My throat is raw and sore, my voice nearly gone. I found the music loud, disharmonious and agitating. I found the people annoyingly chatty and energetic. The sun was lovely and warm, but when it went behind a cloud it was freezing and windy. I was so glad I had eaten before I went. ALL the food, and I mean every single thing – was wheat based. Pizza, cakes, wraps, sandwhiches, I could eat NOTHING at all. I was fine with that. Somehow my won’t power was like SUPERSTRONG because it all looked delicious, homemade and beautiful and I didn’t touch a thing. One of the allotmenteers had made a huge, glorious coffee cake. One of my favourites. I looked away and focussed on the bunting. After two hours I had to leave. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t focus, I was cold, tired and OVERWHELMED by the people, the music, the icy wind.
So, if there are typos in my blog, it’s because it’s all I can do to muster the energy to write it. Rereading and editing is a bit too much right now.
i am going to try and see if I can find the underlying spiritual soul cause for auto immune disorders. I think this is a soul sickness of some kind and we all need to find our own way through it, our own individual routes to that place of unbalance. and we all need to find our own routes out. But we can certainly support each other and share our journeys in order to make the going a little easier and maybe in that way find a SOULution to this phenomenon.